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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259024">Matrimonium</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maige/pseuds/Maige'>Maige</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Novisverse (Role Reversal) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hellsing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff and Angst, Internal homophobia, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Role Reversal AU, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, prominent themes of marriage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:28:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maige/pseuds/Maige</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A brief dive into the thought process behind one so young and yet with so much on their shoulders, their struggle for self acceptance, and their love for the one they aren't supposed to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Integra Hellsing/Seras Victoria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Novisverse (Role Reversal) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Matrimonium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>And another Novis one-shot because I couldn't help it! The 5th chapter is steadily being written, but I am going to shove out some one-shots for things that aren't going to be showed prominently in the actual fic.<br/>My headcanons for Integra are basically straight off taken from girlycards, who focuses heavily on the idea of Integra's upbringing making it very difficult to accept her love for Seras. Novis!Integra has these same elements, although as you'll see they were much worse in her teenage years, and by the actual Novis canon that I'm currently writing it has eased up much more (although as you will ALSO see, it still is there).<br/>So thank you to them for helping me with the characterization!!! They did another Novis one-shot too and you should all read it because its so damn sweet, as well as read all their other stuff!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Living in a prestigious family had its most definite downfalls, and they were all the more so when you were the head of said family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Above her were twelve men, and above them was the Queen, but it was those men who were the most insistent. Being in Hellsing was practically the equivalent of royalty, as a family owned organization, where it was of the utmost importance for there to be a sense of lineage. You must have someone to take your place afterwards, and even in this modern day and age, there were ancient thought processes behind it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was sixteen, when she was first pushed into the world of courting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she was not happy about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Evidently, neither was Seras.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So rarely did she ever see the Midian fly into any true, passionate negative emotion, and the first time it truly happened was when Integra told her of the Convention’s plan. Set her up with boys, plan for a future heir. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>First Seras’ lips had turned over in a frown, her flawless skin tightened around her eyes and forehead. “You’re sixteen,” she said, slowly stating a fact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had the thought to mention to Seras that she came from a time where even younger women were actually carted off with unknown men, but decided against it. Instead Integra turned her attention to her paperwork and simply replied, “They don’t plan for me to be married right off. They want me to find someone for when I reach adulthood.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daring a glance up, she was mutely surprised to see Seras’ lip had begun to curl, peel back, as an animal does when they’re about to snarl. The arm encased in shadows also began to wriggle, the surface peeling upwards in tiny rivets, red, angry snakes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re making you do this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Integra had yet to see this on her, and it was just a touch startling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just how Hellsing, like many other tight family companies, work,” she chose her words carefully, not wanting to infuriate the vampiress any higher. Her eyes slid back down to the papers before her. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Especially</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hellsing. Our blood is vital to the process of, well, taming you. You should know that by now, being our only vampire.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tightening of the gloves that held Seras in place reverberated through the otherwise silent room, only accompanied by the slight shuffling of documents. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s wrong of them to </span>
  <em>
    <span>force </span>
  </em>
  <span>you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was sweet, really. Feeling like this on her behalf, where Integra could not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Integra looked up sharply over her glasses. “Regardless of how you or I feel, the decision is over and done with, and I’m going through with it. I was just informing you as it will all be done in the manor, and I don’t want you snooping about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could see the monologue starting, the big speech about how Integra should not have to agree to such a chauvinistic thing, Seras gearing herself up to go on and on until Integra would more than likely crack, so she spoke up before Seras could, “That’s all. You can go now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unable to disobey the command, the vampire was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A duty held her down, strapped to a table with the strongest and harshest of leather-bound confinements. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Integra went on to her work, ignoring the gut feeling of something awful, and the churning expression of sadness Seras had offered the second before she disappeared into the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first try was at a Hellsing-organized event. Important names, important faces, here to dine and talk and dance, and suitors who wished to try to get to know her better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The image that looked back at her in the mirror was not one she was comfortable with. Quickly in her teens the heiress had found a bit of dislike for dresses and such, wishing to go for more masculine formal attire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that wouldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>proper, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and we daren’t do anything that might frighten off the future husband. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she ran an appraisal over the outfit, a soft cloud of something rose-like tumbled over her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>Master</span>
  </em>
  <span>! You look so lovely!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She startled at the compliment, before turning to Seras. Her eyes were so bright, akin to the fragrance of red flowers she carried around her, and her hands were clasped together like a proud parent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So delighted, so proud, Seras beamed in such a manner that Integra could only beg every holy spirit out there that the vampire did not take note of how her heart tripped over a beat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A-ah, thank you, Seras.” She tugged at the cuff of her sleeve, discomfort in every move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you nervous?” was the quick but casual question, Seras crossing the room to give her own appraisal</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am a Hellsing. I can’t afford to be nervous.” Brave words, considering the gaze of her servant, looking over the stuffy dress, was threatening to cause blood to rush to her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mock form of courage earned her a chuckle. “It’s really alright to admit if you are.” Seras moved closer, reaching out boldly to take Integra’s hands. The girl was horrendously at ease with the skinship, often interlacing their fingers with no comment, and the collar piece to the dress wasn’t the only thing making Integra’s throat tight. She could only look down at Seras, and marvel at how in such a short amount of time she had grown to stand over the height the vampire was at the age of her turning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And if you are, you will be fine anyway! Walter and I will be looking out for you, and you’re a natural-born host anyway! And if any of the boys do or say anything that make you uncomfortable-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was here that the comforting sunshine Seras typically exuded promptly melted away. Her face sharply darkened over, black as night, eyes now nothing more than pinpricks amongst her sclera. A white gap on her face opened wide, nothing like the cheerful smile she so often bore, exhibiting endless rows and rows of sharp teeth designed to tear flesh and crush bone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>
    <em>I will flay them alive</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.It was a transformation that was so sudden, so out of nowhere, and again nothing that Integra had ever seen from the smaller girl. Her voice had thickened considerably, turned guttural and monstrous so it matched the sudden nightmare that was her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Any normal mortal, perhaps any normal vampire as well, would have fled from such a sight, and would have not stopped running until they were in the next town. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet Integra, once getting over the initial shock, </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughed.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She chuckled, a sound that reverted Seras back to normal, who was now looking still serious but awful sheepish. Integra squeezed the other’s hands and looked down to her with an open fondness that., now-a-days, she didn’t often show so blatantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate the sentiment,” she said with a patch of humour, “but I’m quite sure I can handle myself and, if needed, I can properly do the flaying.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seras beamed all over again, once more with the utmost pride, and surged herself forward to take her Master in an embrace, exclaiming a cheerful, “I know you can!”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Integra was all the more glad Seras could not see the heat rising to her cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She allowed Seras to hold her for a moment, before gently pushing her away. “Now get going. This </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>our first event since I gained ownership of Hellsing and we need you in the walls to be scouting out for any trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another flash of fangs, another squeeze of the hands, a sloppy salute, and Seras slipped away into the shadows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the stillness of the room, Integra stopped fussing over herself and took a steadying breath. Her thoughts should have been focused on the events that were to come, but instead, they were over her fingers, still chilled from Seras’ touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thought of those hands. One pale flesh and one a deep maroon. Now smaller than her own, but so full of destruction, able to tear apart any living or un-living thing limb from limb, tiny and young and cold and dead  but all the wonderful nonetheless, when they held her own or ran through her hair or wrapped around her arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could imagine a ring, on those hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were nice enough, truly. Pleasant and uppercrust, but rarely in a way of aristocratic snobbery. And yet the greetings and interactions were mechanical at best, dull at the worst. A score of boys her age whose presence she tolerated but didn’t much care for, intermingled with the equally tedious task of needing to greet figureheads who kept Hellsing’s funds secure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(At least Walter was helping her in that aspect, bless him)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Faces of those who the Convention put into prospect had blended together into the evening, and all Integra could think about was the nightwalker stalking about the walls. She wondered if, during her time as a free Queen of Vampires, Seras had ever conducted an event like this. She was certainly sociable, and Integra could easily imagine some grand hallway in a castle being filled with her subjects, goblets of blood being passed around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the fellows was saying something to her, a bloke whose name she quickly forgot, and she found herself toying with her glass of (non-alcoholic) champagne and staring at one of the nearby walls. Her companion appeared to be particularly eager, a full grown baritone rumbling on as she half listened with the main focus on whether Seras was feeling as weary as her, being cooped up as shadow in plaster, and that lack of attention was still relevant as he stepped away for a refill of his beverage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What did manage to gain her full attention was the young man only being able to take a few steps before abruptly falling to the ground with a loud smack, seemingly tripping over air. The denizens around them turned to the commotion, a startled but infuriatingly amused Integra rushing to help him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only she saw the slip of something faint and black move back into the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could have hurt him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to kill someone by tripping them, unless they’re very old, or have very brittle bones. I’m pretty sure he was neither.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Integra pinched at the bridge of her nose to quell the oncoming headache. “Seras.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you were obviously as bored as I was, I needed to liven things up a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Despite the fact that she was being scolded, Seras appeared pleased as punch, tilting back and forth on the balls of her heels as she looked back to Integra innocently. “I don’t know how you’re going to stand all the other future events, if this one was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>dull. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Boring people talking about boring things. I can make it more fun without hurting anyone - which I </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I was actually tempted to instruct that redhead one you talked to to climb onto the chandelier...but I figured the tongue lashing would be a lot worse than it was now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Simmering exasperation at Seras’ juvenile nature mingled irritably at the inane human want to laugh at such a silly thing. Integra shook her head with barely restrained affection, muttering, “You’re daft.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am.” Seras grinned, leaning her upper body forward. “But you love me for it anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Again there was that stumble, her heart not working quite right for just a second. The last suitor of the evening had the grace to get up and laugh it off, coming out of it with only a few scrapes on his palms. It had been pleasant, mechanical, dull, and even if she were to give him a chance there was something ever lingering that disallowed her to see him walking her down the aisle, her dressed all aglow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What she could see, if she imagined hard enough, was red eyes peering up through a veil, stuffed with cheer and adoration, a look that although they were supposed to be in vastly different units of power, the other had her wrapped entirely around her little finger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>More meetings came and passed, now private in a nicely made room in the manor; these times, Seras being strictly ordered to not check in unless Integra specifically asked of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She followed the rules, she played the part. An actress in a show she didn’t particularly wish to audition for. Blurred features of her co-actors came and went as she lay in bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Interspersed between fencing lessons, having to actually deal with being the head of Hellsing, and schooling; it was becoming exhausting. A jumbled mass of thoughts roamed about her skull, as she grappled with the want to ask Seras to make her a cuppa of peppermint for sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As her thinking floated to that particular topic, she found herself contemplating on how Seras was while alive. Her pet never appeared to be fond of talking about her past, something that Integra tried not to push too hard on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wondered if, while human, there was anyone she had ever fancied, in the village she was born into. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wondered if, as a vampire, she ever sought out one of her own. It would be no surprise to find out that amongst the legions of the undead that followed her, there would be a plentiful amount who have yearned for the attention of their Queen. No surprise at all, considering her open personality, enough to draw even the most depraved of creature in, and her, well, well, her </span>
  <em>
    <span>appearance</span>
  </em>
  <span>; something that Integra tried not to put too much focus onto, but that could be as equally difficult, her eyes, hair, smile, her ---- her----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mortified at where this train of thought was going, Integra clamped her hands over her increasingly crimson face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Apparently I am the depraved creature drawn to her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wondered if any of them, human or vampire, ever succeeded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wondered, dared to wonder, dared to hope, if, perhaps, maybe, just maybe, glimpse into that underbelly that she was afraid to venture into, that maybe and perhaps and just quite possibly one of those vampires and humans</span>
  <em>
    <span> weren't </span>
  </em>
  <span>male. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hands pressing into her eyes, Integra emitted a strained groan. This was getting into increasingly dangerous territory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Such territory was disallowed, forbidden to enter. In front of it were several warning signs, directing one to stay true to what was the important matter at hand, duty and religion and God and to stick to what was true and right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>But I don’t want to do that)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Integra eased back into the blankets, sluggishly putting her hands down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(I want)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sharp breath escaped, loud and to the point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>The human in their finest suit, the vampire in the most beautiful gown</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>bump-bump-bump</span>
  </em>
  <span> rhythm of a pounding heart thundered in her ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>I want</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blood roared in her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(To devote myself wholly to her, a pure happiness that my Father had been allowed)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This fantasy was all wrong, skewed. Sweat formed in little beads on her forehead from the idea of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>I want I want I want I wantIwantIwantIwantIwantIwantIwant</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the force of shoving a heavy object forward, she willed the tirade away, confused and hopeful and frustrated in herself for having it in the first place. </span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Regardless of all those reasons, it wouldn’t work anyway, with the laws of her immortality)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An absolutely crushing notion. Integra looked absently out to her dark room, allowing her vitals to settle. The thoughts were gone, but the images were still there, a girl she only ever saw in red now in full white. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moved back further into her pillows, as if trying to physically escape the scene. Still raw with exhaustion, but unable to fall asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a long moment Integra laid still. Unable to help herself, she silently called for Seras. The response was of the atypical cheer, and scoldings of her young Master overworking herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The vampire’s gentle reprimands were met with a smile from Integra, and managed to lessen the guilt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just by a bit, but enough to allow her to be more at ease with the scene laid before her, of moonlight shining off of short blonde hair and silken fabric, a demonic angel smiling up through a vow of love, she belonged to the knight, and the knight belonged to her.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The 'flay them alive' bit was originally a comic I did lmao, if u wanna say hi pls feel free to check me out on tumblr as maiiart! :'D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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